Sunday, June 08, 2008

My Husband, the Grouchy Genius

Finally, I can shake off this blanket of guilt I’ve been carrying around. It turns out that my husband’s extreme crankiness is not my fault, as I’ve assumed all along, but because he is extremely INTELLIGENT! Whoooo! That takes a load off my mind. All this time, I thought he hated me, and come to find out he’s just a victim of his own genius. Wow, that makes me feel better! Now the next time my husband snaps at me for getting in his way in the kitchen, I can just comfort myself with the knowledge that he’s smarter than me! And the next time that I get a little cranky, rather than pinning it on PMS and wacky hormones, it might just be that my intellect has been getting a workout!

These intriguing findings about the link between grouchiness and brilliance were presented at the 2006 convention of the American Psychological Association by two researchers (one from Penn State and the other from York University). Their study found a direct correlation between disagreeableness and increased intelligence. I’ll be forever grateful to them. I have a great excuse now when I’m not my usual sunny self. “I’m not grouchy, honey. I’m just extremely smart!” Of course, he’ll never buy that when it comes to me, but he’ll insist that it’s absolutely factual when it comes to his own crankiness! Smart people have all the answers.

And further, I’ve just realized, all this time when we thought The Count was the genius on Sesame Street, it turns out it was really Oscar the Grouch who had the high IQ! I always suspected that under that mangy garbage-encrusted green fur was a mind of extreme intelligence. No, he’s not scrounging around in the dirt in that trash can; he’s contemplating the mysteries of the universe and reading scientific tomes. Hey, kids, I want you to be just like Oscar! Go ahead, throw that tantrum! Talk back to me! You’re a little genius in the making! Just like your dear old dad . . .

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  1. Lauren12:15 PM

    What an epiphany. I have a former mensa member husband and a five year old son who really challenges me at times. Now I know what's really going on.

  2. Keep in mind "direct correlation" does not mean cause! If you're grouchy, yeah, maybe you're smart, but it doesn't change the fact that you *are grouchy*!


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