As many of you know, I write books for a living, but I wanted to share with you the fact that I was never a child prodigy when it comes to writing! My first book was “published” in second grade by my elementary school library and was called (I’m embarrassed to admit), The Girl Who Pooped in Her Pants! Here’s a picture of the cover below. As you can see, I wasn’t a very good illustrator either and, unfortunately, that has never changed!
I’m pleased to say that The Girl Who Pooped in Her Pants was the most popular book in the school library that spring (I still have the library card with all of the names on it) … probably because the subject of bodily functions is always hilarious to kids in early elementary school -- as my twin kindergartners prove to me on a daily basis.
So, for your reading enjoyment, here is the text of my first book!
Once there was a girl and she pooped in her pants.
And her mother got mad at her.
And she was 7 and she knew she wasn’t sposed to poop in her pants.
So her mom changed her pants.
And she sent her to her room.
Just then she came out of her room.
And said, “Mother, I pooped in my pants again.”
So her mother changed her pants, spanked her and sent her to her room again.
Yes, my twins are very proud of their mom for writing this book! I, on the other hand, will go crawl under my rock now…